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Monday. My other wife has been reading some books about the sea lately. Now he sits around bellowing deep‑sea chanteys. If he calls me a landlubber once more I'm going to drown him in the sink. Of late the math course has branched out into metaphysics and the more obscure aspects of the Relativity Theory. They are making us take determinants. Everytime I write one down I expect to be blasted by a thunderbolt as punishment for dealing in black magic.
Tuesday. Well, it has finally been settled about the Washington trip. Our company is among those chosen. My sane wife is beside himself with joy and that ignorant fool, my other wife, is eagerly looking forward to seeing Grant's Tomb. However, there are disadvantages. The smaller upperclassmen, never pleasant, have been transformed into ravening wolves, thus making crossing the area an undertaking fraught with peril.
Wednesday. By use of Machiavellian cunning I succeeded in being an extra man this morning when they arranged teams for a race. It was the first time I have ever been a spectator at one of these debacles. All it needed was a few wild beasts thereupon about to make it look like an extra nasty day for the martyrs at the Roman Colosseum.
Thursday. Attended dancing instruction today and danced with my other wife. He is considerably hampered by his inability to distinguish between right and left. He won, however, with five out of seven falls going to him. He also tore the toes of my hop shoes off.
Friday. In tactics we are now studying the Garand.a My sane wife got trapped in his rifle in some inexplicable manner and had to be sent to the armory so his hand could be disassembled from the gun. After tactics I went over to the Special Exercise room for the purpose of building up my muscles. I must have acquired some new ones for I now ache in a lot of places that never bothered me before.
Saturday. This afternoon we did practice parading in Washington. The first try was very bad. We went round Central Area in a sort of untidy mob formation, due mainly to the fact that some were dressing right and some left and the first-class bucks diagonally. This evening I attended the boxing meet. It is interesting to note how this sport reacts on the gentler sex. Most of the young ladies I saw down there were querulously asking why the contestants weren't bleeding more. All of this augurs ill for the success of our generation, I fear.
Sunday. We leave tonight. My wives have been cheering steadily ever since reveille.
a The M‑1 Garand rifle, more often just referred to as the M‑1.
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Page updated: 16 Aug 12