Agnes Cecelia Kozlowski
— an autobiographical memoir

[Early work as a nurse]

 p36  1949When July came I have been sent to the farm where they had the old age home.⁠a My Superior then was Sister Gabriel and she was a card. You dare not touch any thing with out her permission. One day I came in from the fields and have been actually hungry at that time Sister Beata had been assigned to the kitchen also. I asked her if I could have a glass of milk and something. She had a Strawberry short cake made. Generously she cut a piece and I had it half down when who comes in, Sr. Gabriel, she looked and I was paralysed I new what was wrong! I shouldnt have been given that piece of cake . . . She scolded Sister Beata for it and made me put it down and finish it at the table for supper. I threw it to the garbage pail for the pigs. . . . We would work out in the fields from nine in the morning after we finished milking over fifteen cows that was amongst three of the sisters and stay till noon. After dinner we went for prayers and some times they have been omitted because the corn had to be cut or the Alphapha had to be turned; Supper was fast and back to the fields, was this called religious life for young nuns who should be getting educated to lead a life to help others when necessary. We tried to have fun amongst ourselves in the fields for we knew once we got to the house you dare not crack a joke.

As it was a diocesan home for the aged the Nuns would have to get up at three or four in the morning to make a trip by car to the shore points at Atlantic City, or even Cape May, or to a near by parish to stand with the basket at the doors in the Catholic Churches. We complained that it wasnt right, but the Sup. couldnt tell the Bishop that it wasnt allowed they gave them selves permission no doubt; and in the same time killed and taken years off from the younger sisters life.  p37 Many a times practically seven nuns could have been killed due to an accident on the way to the assigned church or on the way back when traffic to the shore points was so very heavy. Life meant nothing it seemed. So being at St. Marys Home for the Aged kept me for two years; Then I have been appointed to Woodbridge, since I requested it, to help my own vocation. When time came to receive vows I have been so hesitant and was afraid to take them but did as others did. I think I was more disturbed about being talked about after I would leave and felt that I owe it the Nuns since they have raised me. In 1952 when I was to take my Final Vows I have spoken to the family and mentioned that I didnt know what to do. Naturally they didnt know what was going on behind those walls, but I told them I didnt want to stay in. One of the nuns came and spoke to the family and some how or other one of the Sisters talked me into remaining. Sister Alfonsa she took me by the hand and led me into church at St. Marys up to the alter. As we knelt down I began to cry and she started praying out loud to the Blessed Mother as in a form of conversation. "Please Blessed Mother dont let her go we need sisters in this country and keep her at your side she is your daughter etc". I stayed and took my Final Vows with trembling feeling that was in 1952.

Between the year of 1948 and 1950 we have been sent to Cambridge Mass. for training in Practical Nursing.⁠b It was a different type of work and I loved Nursing the sick. Most of my months in one way or another I have spent with the cancer patients. We have led a normal life and looking at the suffering ones made one realize how much one can carry and offer up as the poor sick who have been bedridden for years. During that time was when I was to renew my vows they were temporary ones and for the first time I have been the first nun in the American community to fly. The Superior send the money and told me to be home for such a date since we had to have a day of recollection. I couldnt get off duty till after four. By train it was taken to long so I have spoken to one of the Supervisors Miss Malone to make arrangements for a flight. I went on that plane as bold as brass thinking if Im going to die it will be a fast death. When we were up I kept on thinking how am I going to tell Sister Sup that I flew home to get here on time. I figured something out before I got off at Newark, N. J.  p38 I fixed the envelope that I had my ticket in such a way that as I entered the Sup. office I would just pick it out of my dress pocket and hand it over to her. It worked. She looked at the image at first as if to say what is this? I said the trip cost so much and then smiled. She said is this how you arrived, I said yes, since I couldnt get off duty any sooner from the hospital. She told me not to say anything to the other Nuns. At the supper table superior asked the sisters to guess how I came, they said by train, other said some one drove me down, then pulled out the envelope and held it up. You should have seen the amazed looks at the sisters faces. "Did you really fly Gus"? Yes I did, well a million and one questions "werent you afraid, how did it look from so high up, what about the clouds, and did you get sick, who was on the [plane] with you?" Well we graduated and I have received a Missal from the Archbishop of Boston who is Archbishop Cushing for "Generous and splended nursing in any time of need." When my name been called I couldnt move on that stage, they called again Sister Augustine, my companion gave me a poke (on the side) to get up and take the reward. I cant explain the feeling at that time. I could mention a great deal of thanks and gratitude to Sister Roson who was very good to her Student Nurses.

While staying at the hospital one of the nurses had a great deal of interest in religious after I have gotten her straightened out spiritually since she just let herself go. That nurse at that time would come to the wards or hall when I had late shift and on her time off would come to help me with my patients. I think she just liked being near me and to have me tell her things about religion that she never knew. After I have been in the Mission she entered and wrote telling me she is in the same community. I felt kind of funny and didnt know if that was a true vocation, or did she think I was an ideal religious while in training. She said she was my supervisor when I have been assigned to duty on the childrens ward. I was more frightened of her than she would ever know. On her days off, soda pop and potatoe chips were sent up to our room from her or she would bring it up herself and spend hours standing in the corridor just talking about this and that. She was so very curious to find out what was in our bed room. For the Superintendant told the girls thay have no right going into our room although we had to share the same nursing living quaters with the Student Nurses.

 p39  After training we had returned back to the convent and began our Nursing at Woodbridge, and eight other surrounding parishes. It was a whole days routine to keep up with. At times the R. N. would give the Sisters that have been the Practical Nurses all the baths to do, and they would only attend to the injections and the dressings for the patients, so this was unfair dealings. I have finally decided to tell the Superior and she set me off with "they have other work to do". In the mean time I had to attend High School to complete my courses and try to get the diploma since I didnt go as a student in the orphanage.⁠c During the mornings I had to go to care for the sick and then at twelve thirty to get on to school. Since we had mission work in Africa and the need for sisters was called for from the American providence, Rev. Mother General in Poland appointed two nuns to leave for the Missions. They have backed out by stating that they felt they didnt have the required strength to carry on the work in the hot climate. Since some one should have given an helping hand I had volunteered but had been refused about ten times. So after the June retreat, I have spoken to the retreat Master and he said he doesnt see why I didnt write to the General and tell her about your desire. In that time many things have been occurring and one in particular. My brother had wanted to raise a family for nine years and no sign of children. During the retreat I have vowed to make a great sacrifice of my life and go to the Missions, leaving the family and serve the natives. It took a great deal of courage but I had made up my mind to get there. A sacrifice was required from one point of view. A Slovakian Priest⁠d was leaving that year for the Missions in August also, so I just had three months to get things under way. I have gone in again to the Sup, begging her on my knees to grant me the permission to leave for the Missions. The answer was we have so much work here and you are needed to carry on the nursing here as well. Since that feeling been haunting more and more I just had to get to the Missions now.

---

Thayer's Notes:

a St. Joseph's Home in Woodbridge, NJ, where Agnes worked from Mar. 3, 1949 to Aug. 1, 1952; the dates from two handwritten lists made out by Agnes, each no earlier than August 1985. See my next note.

b Holy Ghost Hospital, 1575 Cambridge St., Cambridge, MA: from June 13, 1948 to Feb. 28, 1950 (according to one list) or May 28, 1950 (to the other). The dates overlap with her time at St. Joseph's, but they are from the same two lists referred to in my previous note.

c Her high-school diploma would only be delivered to her in 1955, about a year after the period covered by this memoir.

d Fr. Joseph Svec, S. J., identified by name in the next part of the memoir. He would spend about fifteen years of his life in southern Africa, and wrote Africa, My Love (Friends of Good Books, Cambridge, Ontario, 1974). An interesting biographical sketch of him can be read on the site of the Society of Jesus in Southern Africa.

[Your browser may at first give you an error, but after a few seconds will fix itself and give you the PDF correctly]

He would remain a friend to Agnes in after years, corresponding and on one occasion sending her a 6‑page excerpt from his diary.

◂ previous						next ▸
Images with borders lead to more information. The thicker the border, the more information. (Details here.)
UP TO:		Agnes Kozlowski: Autobiographical Memoir	American Catholic History		Catholic History	Home
				American History	History of the Americas
A page or image on this site is in the public domain ONLY if its URL has a total of one *asterisk. If the URL has two **asterisks, the item is copyright someone else, and used by permission or fair use. If the URL has none the item is © Bill Thayer. See my copyright page for details and contact information.

Accessibility