Agnes Cecelia Kozlowski
— an autobiographical memoir

[To Africa as a nurse]

 p40  So one Sunday after noon I went again to the Superiors room to ask She naturally said no, so I in tears told her that if I wasnt going to be sent out to the Missions, Ill turn to another Convent and ask them to accept me and for sure the Maryknoll Missionaries would send me any how. So the Sup. seing that I have been so stubborn also said go head and go. I ran out of her room like a bolt of lightning struck me, and first of all to write to the U. S. Government for a passport. It came in two weeks time. In that period I started to pack clothing in huge boxes, and trunks and went around to all the drug stores for medical supplies and the doctors of the vicinity also sent in their samples in the line of medication. In all I had 25 huge cases to go to the Missions. But now to get the ticket and to have all this taken care of. Mr. Gabriel no doubt was a catholic and took all the supplies gratis on board Robin Line. At the parish school that I have been teaching catechism to the Public school youngsters, they have given me a fare well gift of a steamer trunk after Sunday Mass in the Auditorium, and Rev. Father Miles provided an English bicycle to attend to the sick in the only had a few hours in between to learn how to ride on a bike and to ride with out getting my long skirts caught in the spokes. I had more black and blue marking on my body, it wasnt even funny. I learned allright in a hurry . . indeed Then St. Josephs Society (sodality) gave me a fair well party also, since I have been the first American sister after 25 years of work to attempt to leave for the missions. Reverend Bishop Ahr, D. D. from the diocese of Trenton came down to give Rev. Joseph Svec and I his Missionary Blessings; as a rule all other Missionary individual receive the crucifix with special indulgences, but no not in our community keep up with anything it was all back words. Everything was set for August the 2, but the ship had been delayed to the fact it had to wait for another shipment for the African Continent. So although we have been on board all the passenger slept that night on ship. The following day while having meditation Father came in to tell me he is  p41 going down to say Mass. I have picked up the prayer book and left the room. I served in responses and while Father had been unvesting I have cleared the alter and took it up to my room and daily after that I would set for Mass. While we have been having breakfast the ship had been moving so we went out to see what was going on. Sure enough the tugs have been at the side and doing their work. It took about 45 minutes to get up from the pier and make the turn. The day before the nuns have taken me to the pier and stayed for about three hours, along with some very dear friends of mine that I certainly did love. It was the funniest thing all that time since I must admit I have been in tension not a tear dropped from my eyes, it was a sacrifice willing indeed. While leaving the shore one of the passengers had binoculars and loaned it to Father, he noticed that the nuns have been there but we have been about a mile out already. So I didnt recognize who was there actually, when I looked, While sailing along and at about noon we have left the coast completely not a sight of land any where but the blue sky ahead and water, I felt funny and asked myself will I make a good missionary, maybe this isnt the right thing for me to face. But I banished that thought out of my mind and felt if God gav me the strong feeling to apply for this work Im going to live up to what the word "Missionary" actually means. During supper I felt a bit uneasy "sea sickness" so I had to excuse myself from the table. Father sat there, the chief engineer, and a little old lady who came to America for a few months vacation but who lived in Africa all her life. The next day I went to Mass and right after Communion I must have gotten white as a sheet, since Father told me to go up, and I did. I laid in bed that day and two proceeding days. I tried to take in food but to no avail, I just was sea sick. In the p. m. I read spiritual reading and it was really hard. So one afternoon Father walked in and after knocking on the door and I said to come in, he took the book and read instead for the last fifteen minutes since spiritual reading consisted of half hour reading. I didnt think anything wrong in that and I was grateful to Father.

 p42  After the first week, I felt much better, and even attempted to play shuffle board, during the evening I have played bingo with the passengers, Since all the rest of the passengers have been all missionaries, and all of a different domination no one attempted to bring up, the subject religion. On one evening while sitting on deck and staring at the stars, Father came down and read his brievery since there was enough lighting on deck to read. After that we have gotten into general conversation why did I decide to come to the Missions. So I wasnt going to tell tails, so I told him the truth, my whole life, as far back as I could have remembered since mother died, then the orphanage and then entering the convent, and now this. He himself was a refugee and had to make a decision since some complications according to parish regulations were difficult. So he also wanted to do good for others. He had some of his friend also who were of Slovish descent at the Missions in Africa.

The eighteen days were coming to an end and as we have been approaching the coast of Africa, Cape Town the beauti­ful scenery of Table Mountain greeted us with its table cloth covering at early morning, since the white clouds just hung over the top of the mountains and leaves the effect of a table cloth drapped over a table since the top of the mountain is so level. Customs and officers before leaving the ship came aboard to get us all set. Father who was very kind took care to make arrangements for the luggage and to get the train tickets to Lusaka. We had to spent a few days in Cape town since trains run only twice a week. So I have gone with Father first off all to see the Archbishop in Cape Town and receive his Apostolic Blessings. Then to the Dominican Sisters that had a school for dumb mutes. Since Father Svec knew a University teacher, he offered his time on Sunday to drive us around to the country sides and enjoy South Africa before we went up north. After Mass on Sunday at nine we set off with lunch that the Nuns prepared. I had a camera that the family gave me so that was a pleasure to have at such a time.⁠a Nature certainly is magnificient.

 p43  Calla Lillies would grow wild in the fields and along the road sides.⁠b Finally the day came in the middle of the week to leave for Lusaka at first I had to share a roomette, for the trains have been jammed. Then after our first stop in Johannesburgh since we have a Mission house there for the Nuns Novitiate I have spent two days and Father made arrangements again to get to Lusaka, Now he managed to get a private room for me. During the day he would come in to talk about different things heard from the other men passengers and shared them. As we drove along, the journey was very monotonous, since it was all deserted dry land, called bush. For miles and miles one wouldnt even see a blade of grass. So we had to travel for three days like this. The last night we were to reach Lusaka but they had a train accident and that delayed us for twelve hours. That evening we didnt have any bedding, so Father knew I had been so tired and exhausted that he offered me his shoulder to rest my weary head on. I did do it, for the first time in my life had I been so very close to a man. I just felt all my insides turning up side down, what a terrific feeling. But finally I have slept for an hour on his shoulder. Morning had come and we would have two more hours of journeying. When we have arrived, to the next station it was about ten minutes now Father came in and sat down he took my crucifix and held it up to my lips for me to kiss it and said "Sister when it will be hard and it will be hard remember, that it was your intention to gain a special favor for your brother and sister in law. He placed a sign of a cross on my fore-head and kissed it also. I couldnt say another word I just swallowed . . . Before he left the room I did thank him for all he did by making the arrangements for me.

As we stopped one of the Jesuits Fathers have been there waiting to take us to the Jesuit house since from there I would get transportation to Kasisi which was 18 miles drive. Nine miles on a tar marked road and the next nine just forest, dirt road and that full of holes. When I have reached the Jesuit house they didnt have a chauffer at the time so one of the Fr. that came in from one of the Missions offered to take me to Kasisi. . . . .  p44 But before I could have started to my destination I had to check in at the police Officer building to register in the country. So to that place first. It didnt take long and then to clear all the luggage that was on the station, they didnt take one cent, but I returned an American Smile in thanks. Then to get back in the old delapetated vanette. I sat in the back on a stool and the driver was a rough one, I laughed so much I had tears in my eyes since it was worse than ridding on a horse. Finally we got to Kasisi around noon time. The nuns have been at their obligations so one of the youngest nuns greeted me first Sister Yolanta who was a refugee during this last war also. She lost her father in Poland and the family got to Africa so she decited to remain there and became a nun, to work with the natives. The nuns were expecting me so in while the Sup. came and greeted me. The first stop was to the chapel, and it was a pretty one. Cathedral style and bats galour on the ceiling during Mass or night services. But that was the place for consulation, and hard days were ahead of me. The first day just made me feel creepy all over. Natives would look at me thinking why isnt she red color skinned since she is from America and the Indians were first in America. So explanations had to be given. I didnt feel lonesome one day ever since I put my foot on the African soil. I knew why I have come and decided to keep in that one true spirit. With-in three months a "Malaria" attack and to the hospital in a vanette. The hospital was 18 miles from Kasisi and with a fever of 102 wasnt very pleasant to travel one hour to seek releaf. I stayed in the hospital for nine days and back to the Missions. In that time we have managed to buy a Ford car English make, I had an American license so now to apply for an English one, I did get it.⁠c The nuns have been very, very happy to have the convenience since they have been in the missions for 25 years and nothing didnt change for them. They accepted the natives ways and means, and when I came I just had to make them realize the word had changed and changed very much to modernism. But what a battle & misunderstanding.  p45 I have been in charge of the dispensary and the nursery and what a filthy place. The youngsters have been laying in beds where the urine was dripping on the floor from their matresses. So since I had plastic I just had to remake the matresses with new straw and cut up old sheets from the U. S. and make up clean beds for the infants I had 28 of them. In the dispensery I had to be called at all hours of the day for the villagers. They would walk for miles and hours, and I couldnt see it in any way to send them off with not attending to their needs. There customs were most fasinating And when any one received medication how very grateful they have been. Many times after a few weeks they would return with peanuts or even a live chicken in gratitude that they have been releaved from pain or illness. In the Nursery I have painted it myself and made sure it was clean. After I have completed the Nursery I landed in the hospital with Pneumonia since I have been doing all the painting myself, walls, windows and beds, cribs. I stayed in the hospital for 12 days. The only visitor that came in faithfully was Father Svec. The nuns came in only twice. I didnt think I would ever be able to do any more work. I carried on with difficulties since it was jelousy from the nuns part telling me that Im spoiling the natives, they have never had any conveniences and now they dont need them. I tried to keep my chin up, after all I have been an orphan and knew how I have been treated and why should these youngsters and children suffer for no reason of theirs, that they are orphans. I made sure no one had any thing against me as not wanting to help them. During the time of my stay I have gotten in touch with them at the hospital to have the medical staff make arrangements to come and check the terrible conditions for the infants, some only a day old. The dispensery was right next door to the Nursery and all those germs would come in to the Nursery and caused many of the little ones life unnecessarily. I heard about that later on, Im doing to much. . . .  p46 As time went on, the Medical Supervisors have came again and I have begged them to help us build a new orphanage and the old quaters could be put up for a larger dispensery. To my knowledge after I have returned to the States⁠d the new building was put up for the orphans.

---

Thayer's Notes:

a And with this first camera, Agnes started her lifelong love of photography. Never a pro at it in any sense, nevertheless she took thousands of photographs over a span of seventy years, the number increasing markedly after the advent of digital photography. At some point, as part of a larger site devoted to her life, I hope to put a few of her photos online.

b Not the "true" calla lily (one of several plants native to the more northern portions of the Northern Hemisphere), but one of several similar-looking plants of sp. Zantedeschia, frequently also called "calla lily", native to southern Africa. Both sets of these plants are now grown in gardens all over the world.

c Agnes kept fairly good files. Seventy-some years later, I found that driver's license:

Driving licence issued to Sr. Mary Augustine by the Northern Rhodesian authorities, Oct. 14, 1952. The buckram-stiffened cardboard booklet ("Form 43") measures 7 × 11 cm and opens sideways to several printed pages of forms, of which this is the first bifold. The other pages, less generally applicable, in her case have not been filled in.

d This dates the memoir. It was typed after Agnes returned from Africa, thus no earlier than June 1952.

◂ previous						next ▸
Images with borders lead to more information. The thicker the border, the more information. (Details here.)
UP TO:		Agnes Kozlowski: Autobiographical Memoir	American Catholic History		Catholic History	Home
				American History	History of the Americas
OFF SITE:			Kasisi Children's Home
A page or image on this site is in the public domain ONLY if its URL has a total of one *asterisk. If the URL has two **asterisks, the item is copyright someone else, and used by permission or fair use. If the URL has none the item is © Bill Thayer. See my copyright page for details and contact information.

Accessibility