Monday. Rode again today. Any zoo or circus would pay large sums for those three‑, four‑, and five‑legged things masquerading as horses that the Cavalry detachment keeps down at the Riding Hall. Today the beast I drew had fangs like a cobra and the power to change color to suit its surroundings. My poor sane wife got the worst, however, his soi‑disant horse was the first I have ever seen that possessed the ability to spit with accuracy and violence. And over its shoulder too. We passed the period in the usual bitter struggle for survival. As all the horses have large flat feet and are very heavy it is never necessary to bury the losers in this struggle. The instructor merely cuts several more notches in the Riding Hall door and has the tanbark raked thoroughly.
Tuesday. We had a practice parade today. We were kindly allowed to do it twice. I would have enjoyed the whole merry affair more if the last forty days of rain had not left the Plain in a state similar to a cross between the Everglades and eight‑day‑old Jello. We could have worn no shoes and no one would have been the wiser. The shorter boys could also have omitted trousers.
"The shorter boys could have omitted trousers."
Wednesday. I fear that I shall never understand Economics. According to my Economics professor, large businesses are continually borrowing money, spending it upon light wines and emerald bracelets, borrowing more money, and spending that in the same manner all the while laughing like crazy whenever someone suggests they pay a little something on account. And no one ever complains but instead people wait in line for a chance to force their life's savings into the pudgy hands of the directors of these businesses. On a smaller scale I have been attempting much the same thing for some time past. Unfortunately, it would seem that somewhere I have made a mistake in my methods as my creditors are already fighting bitterly as to who is going to cut the first pound of flesh from my already underweight frame. It all does not seem quite fair.
Thursday. Today I got in my best days moping in weeks.
Friday. Once more we have ridden. I was considerably amused at beginning of the period today to see a horse bite off two of my other wife's fingers and immediately become violently ill. I do not think that there is a more pleasant sight than a horse writhing in agony. I can conceive of a pleasanter sight but I am afraid I will never see Him in that condition.
Saturday. Rain today. They tell me that it is good for crops so I do not mind it. Although I wonder how the crops get along during the week.
Sunday. Tomorrow is Monday. Goody. Goody.
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Page updated: 16 Aug 12