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Bill Thayer

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100th Night

This webpage reproduces a section of
The Collected Works
of Ducrot Pepys

Ronan C. Grady

Newburgh, N. Y., 1943

The text is in the public domain.

This page has been carefully proofread
and I believe it to be free of errors.
If you find a mistake though,
please let me know!


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April 11
This site is not affiliated with the US Military Academy.

 p21  March 28, 1941 . . . .

Monday. A new period has begun in my life. I am no longer on C. E. By the aid of Heaven and a strong favoring breeze I succeeded in swimming two hundred yards today. I had a slight attack of the bends after struggling up from the depths I traveled at, and then there was a bit of confusion until the instructors were convinced that it was really me and not a ringer, but they checked on my fingerprints and finally I was qualified. Though one of them said in a very offensive way that he would not tell if I would explain how I really did it. I crawled from the pool in a huff.

Tuesday. The Tac today found hidden in my locker a bottle of olives for which I have been looking for months. How he did it I don't know. My sane wife says he uses a divining rod. The olives were tasty but not worth the five. And they certainly were not worth the man‑hours spent in explaining to my other wife how they put the red stuff in the centers. Gym has reached new heights. We are now learning how to fight people who are armed with knives, guns, or clubs. I have always had certain ideas as to what I would do if someone leaped out at me with a knife, gun, or club; and I fear the Gym and I do not agree.

[image ALT: A drawing of a deserted street at night. A dimly-distinguished man in an overcoat is seen foreground left, holding a penknife in his right hand. A large cross pattée is drawn on the sidewalk immediately in front of him, from which cartoon tracks, partly enveloped in smoke and marked 'SWISHHH' race off to the end of the street where in the background, just above the horizon, a crescent moon is making an apprehensive face. It is a cartoon of a West Point cadet hightailing it from a would‑be attacker rather than use his fight training.]

"I have always had certain ideas. . ."

Wednesday. My other wife who has the slowest reaction of anyone I know has just gotten homesick. As if life was not hard enough to bear now we have him curled up under the sink crying his little heart out. Surveying becomes more involved every day. Since my other wife found out how much a transit costs he has been saying, "Excuse me, please" before he makes an adjustment.

Thursday. A very horrid day. I was used to demonstrate a hold in rough-and‑tumble today. I now have to look up to see down.

Friday. Math gets worse and worse. My other wife goes about calling people he doesn't like hyperbolas. He is under the impression it is a dirty word.

Saturday. It has snowed enormously all day, but we still go on. If it rained molten lava they would probably order "Coat collars will be turned up!" Saw the Hundredth Night show this afternoon. My other wife is deeply in love with the hula dancer and no one has the heart to tell him.

Sunday. My sane wife who was cheated by the weather of an S. I. gave himself a short inspection this morning. It seems he found his belts were dirty so he now has himself walking punishment tours in his alcove.

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Page updated: 16 Aug 12