Monday. A very busy day. My other roommate feeling humorous set the alarm clock for three o'clock and put it under my bed. I returned after standing in ranks for ten minutes. So to bed after stamping heavily on my other roommate's breast-plate, a thing which seemed to cause him much pain. Spent the morning teaching the great oaf how to count backward from five to one as he is minute caller this week. Gymnasium now is a thing from which no man is sure he will return. So far the parallel bars have claimed one victim a day. My sane wife can talk of nothing but the coming Notre Dame trip. This evening he did sit with a watch in his hand chuckling happily every time a minute went by.
Tuesday. My sane wife broke the broom this morning. It is his fault as I have warned him that he sweeps too fast. In the mornings he is nothing but a blur dashing madly about the room continually asking how much time he has left. He now finds it very difficult to sweep, but I have no sympathy for him. We had wrestling today. I tried to show my other wife what a jaw hold was and was severely bitten for my pains. When leaving the gym I was so unfortunate as to cross the path of a mail-dragger and was badly trampled. Sometimes this place seems to be just one long bruise.
Wednesday. The Tac inspected early today and discovered my other wife sliding down the banisters, which is his favorite occupation when the upper classes are away in the mornings. My other wife so astonished he fell off causing the Tac to smile for the first time since I have known him. Though they do say he was quite cheerful before we came. This afternoon I went out to get us a new broom. I wonder where they got their brooms in the first place as no one seems to know where to get any more.
"Which is his favorite occupation."
Thursday. My sane roommate exceeding happy to think we leave tomorrow on our trip. The other, who with his customarily slow reaction has just realized that we are going on a trip is also overjoyed. I have at last found out the safe way to get through boxing. As soon as I get hit I lie right down on the floor twitching slightly. This has earned me the name of "One Punch" Pepys, but I doubt that I shall ever acquire cauliflower ears. Tonight my sane wife was so excited that we had to put him to bed early with a cold towel around his head.
Saturday. Today we leave. I am sitting with my other wife as I was never lucky at matching.
Sunday. We are back. Everyone had an excellent time. The train ride was a little unpleasant, my other wife being the most active sleeper I have ever known. He even kicked the occupants of the seats across the aisle. The people in New York are most hospitable. We all found it hard to leave. My other wife who thought we were going from New York to some other city (a thing we had to tell him to induce him to get on the return train) has been carrying on disgracefully ever since we arrived back here. So to bed.
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The Collected Works of Ducrot Pepys
History of West Point
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Page updated: 16 Aug 12