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Bill Thayer

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December 5

This webpage reproduces a section of
The Collected Works
of Ducrot Pepys

Ronan C. Grady

Newburgh, N. Y., 1943

The text is in the public domain.

This page has been carefully proofread
and I believe it to be free of errors.
If you find a mistake though,
please let me know!


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January 2
This site is not affiliated with the US Military Academy.

 p35  December 19, 1941 . . . .

Monday. My sane wife has announced that he intends to take up skiing this winter. As he affects the Norwegian pronunciation​a there has arisen a regrettable misunderstanding between him and my other wife who keeps leering at him and calling him a gay dog. And my other wife leering is no fit sight for a tender youth like my sane wife to see. Military calisthenics today. It is a new and interesting thing to be tortured in cadence. As soon as we came home my muscles went to bed and I perforce went with them.

Tuesday. My other wife has found a new use for his slide rule. He is guillotining walnuts with it. We are in the midst of the writs and I have had an especially gruesome day. I feel like a dead derivative.

Wednesday. My other wife greatly worried by the spy scares. He has carefully hidden his Orphan Annie code book and allows no one in the room unless they have the countersign. This morning the Tactical Officer did not know it but after a short, bitter argument succeeded in gaining an entry.

[image ALT: A drawing of an Army officer, seen from the back, opening a door — to face a young man half in uniform — long stripe running down the left leg of his trousers — feet wide apart, somewhat crouched, hatless, disheveled, with a ferocious expression, and pointing the bayonet end of a rifle at him. It is a cartoon of a West Point cadet misguidedly defending his quarters.]

"This morning the Tactical Officer did not know it, but. . ."

Thursday. The English Department is riding again. And from all indications this time they intend to succeed in stamping out the Class of '44 at West Point.

Friday. My sane wife happy as a lark at the prospect of his first Saturday inspection in weeks. The poor dear has been putting his breastplates in camphor ever since my other wife told him that certain species of moths ate brass and he is overjoyed at the chance to give them an airing. My own breastplate looks like something escaped from a priority. I would borrow one of my sane wife's if only he did not ask your immortal soul and one eyeball as security. Military calisthenics today. I think I died.

Saturday. At this rate I will have lost my first day of next year's Christmas leave by next Thursday. However, I will be found by Friday which means I will get all of this year's leave so the situation does have its brighter side. Went to the hop tonight and did dance with my other wife's young lady. She told me that I was indeed fortunate to have as a close companion a man with as beautiful a soul as my other wife. I endeavored to set her right as to the state of my other wife's soul and she then, evidently offended by something I said, broke three of my fingers and shortened the useful life of my right leg by seven years. My other wife has just returned and is filing his teeth and looking at me in a manner I like not at all. Which means I will have to wait until he turns his back to me before we can both retire.

Sunday. We all went to the motion pictures this afternoon and saw Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. My other wife has a new hero.

Thayer's Note:

a In Norwegian the word is pronounced "shee" (/ʃɪ:/).

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Page updated: 16 Aug 12