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Bill Thayer

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January 16

This webpage reproduces a section of
The Collected Works
of Ducrot Pepys

Ronan C. Grady

Newburgh, N. Y., 1943

The text is in the public domain.

This page has been carefully proofread
and I believe it to be free of errors.
If you find a mistake though,
please let me know!


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February 13
This site is not affiliated with the US Military Academy.

 p39  January 30, 1942 . . . .

Monday. Something must be done about the weather. This morning I had to break a trail to get out of bed. I would not mind the weather if we did not have so much of it in the room with us, but my wives insist upon opening the windows. I do not approve of having a lot of loose air in the same room with me, getting in my lungs and exciting my corpuscles, but the two things I live with pay no heed to me. Someday I shall air condition them to the bone. My other wife has finished his English theme and is quite proud of it. I do not believe the English department will join in his emotion. They are not apt to be pleased by several hundred bitter words entitled "The Rise of the English Department, or How to Get Ahead the Dirty Way". I do hope they shoot him.

Tuesday. We had more instruction in the tactics and technique of animal combat today. My other wife now wears a permanently happy smile due a horse cleaning a hoof on his teeth. It is his own fault. I advised him that a front leg was the best leg to bite, but oh no, he knew best. When my ship comes in I am going to eat broiled live horse every day and I am going to do my own cooking. We have had a busy evening, as it is the dark of the moon, and my other wife is always at his worst during this period.

Wednesday. No one has seen my other wife's rifle for days. He says he swallowed it but that is just too silly. Although I have noticed that he has a lot of trouble bending over. I have hidden all my laundry and now I cannot find it. Even my worst enemies are telling me.

Thursday. It appears that we are going to receive instruction in flying planes this summer. The Air Corps will not be able to use me I fear. The Drawing Department has had its will with me for five months now, and with every attendance night and day become more and more alike. Also when I think of my other wife in a plane my heart bleeds for the Air Corps. A man who has such a onetrack mind he can move only one arm at a time is going to drive some instructor to drink.

Friday. Today I was so unfortunate as to ride a horse that had a new trick. It would slyly and instantaneously move sideways about twenty feet. When it did that one of two things happened. I either neglected to move with the horse and was embarrassed to find myself sitting around on nothing or I did move with the horse and my thin frame was cracked like a whip with such violence as to knock my scalp down into my eyes.

[image ALT: A drawing of a man in western riding gear, including a ranger hat, in a sitting position, his legs spread far apart, yet seemingly suspended in mid air. A cross pattée on the ground beneath him and a cartoon whoosh-trail marks where a horse once was, and where is about to fall on his rear end. In the background, a horse and rider in more standard attitudes are seen from the back as they approach a high wooden fence. It is a cartoon of a West Point cadet taking a riding lesson.]

". . . a horse that had a new trick."

Saturday. Enjoyed myself today reading a book about horses and drawing moustaches on the pictures.

Sunday. My other wife has been going about picking fights today. Someone has been feeding him meat again.

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Page updated: 16 Aug 12