Monday. My other wife a few days ago answered an advertisement that offered to send him in return for a trifling consideration a course entitled "How to Build the Body Beautiful". Until today we believed that his action was brought on by the fact that he was tired of having the neighborhood bullies pick on him, but today his course arrived and our illusions were shattered. He intends to build a body beautiful all right, but not upon any such scaffolding as the tattered thing he inhabits might furnish; it appears he intends to start from scratch and stir up a little something that can also be taken to hops. Now he is doing pushups in a bewildered way, and complaining bitterly that it does not quite seem worth it. However, he is eagerly looking forward to the second lesson. As are the rest of us.
Tuesday. Today He found the live round that my other wife has been saving until he could acquire a silver bullet, because for various reasons my other wife is under the impression that there is a were-wolf about. We told him that were-wolves do not wear O. D. no matter what indication there may be to the contrary, but he refused to be convinced and now he has lost his chance to have his name ring down the ages along with other great liberators. I believe that my other wife now regrets that he was so particular about his bullets, especially as according to Him my other wife is going to find out bright and early tomorrow morning just how effective the plain old lead kind are. If this is true He will have at last done something of service to His fellow man.
Wednesday. My other wife is still with us. I suppose He realized that He might make somebody happy and choking down His nausea at this thought quickly countermanded his order for a firing squad. The second lesson arrived today. My other wife is beginning to smell a rat.
Thursday. The fourth classmen are surveying all over the place. This has evidently awakened old memories in my sane wife for today when we went to class he absent-mindedly became involved with a party and the last I saw of him he was happily trudging off toward Trophy Point with a transit on his shoulder.
Friday. The third lesson arrived today and I caught my other wife hiding a leg in his locker. Of course it may just be one he whittled off a friend, but I will watch his future work with interest.
Saturday. I think I will prove to my other wife just how wrong he was in that matter of the bullet.
Sunday. It might be more fun to do it with a knife though.
"It might be more fun to do it with a knife though."
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The Collected Works of Ducrot Pepys
History of West Point
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Page updated: 16 Aug 12