Monday. My other wife who has been getting a yogi course in the mail of late has taken to getting up a few minutes after five, facing east, and announcing in a loud voice that he is glad for here is another day in which to excel. Then he breathes deeply until reveille, all the while making a noise like a mouse in the Spring. He is going to stop this sooner than he thinks, much sooner. We go on the Notre Dame trip Saturday. My sane wife is already in a mild frenzy. This week is going to be a darb. Today in Philosophy I caught my slide-rule moving by itself. I was not hysterically amused.
"Then he breathes deeply until reveille."
Tuesday. This morning my other wife got up at 5:07, began breathing deeply at 5:08, and was put back to bed not breathing at all at 5:10. However his powers of recuperation are immense and he made reveille albeit complaining about having to open his eyes by hand. Winter and military calisthenics come on apace. My corpuscles at the first cold snap give vent to shrieks of alarm and scurry off and hide someplace leaving me to operate on pure momentum for several months. The authorities are going to be surprised when they start these military calisthenics and I go into a decline like a power dive.
Wednesday. I prefer to believe that I dreamed this day.
Thursday. Only two days until the game and trip. I do not know what my other wife's plans are but as he attempted to draw ten rounds today I suspect them.
Friday. My other wife was C. C. Q. today. Evidently in a jocular mood he turned in absentee slips which simply stated "Dead, wounded, and missing absent." This is not the wisest thing he has ever done. We leave tomorrow and my sane wife has been in a swivet all day. However, he saved us the trouble of beating him to sleep by being taken by some sort of a seizure. At present he is in bed twitching slightly and frothing at the mouth. I do hope he does not die as I can think of no place to hide a body.
Saturday. Here we go, laughing and scratching.
Sunday. Arose this morning feeling rather tired. My teeth seem to have broken out a set of individual Angora sweaters. The trip and game were excellent. I had a frantically enjoyable time and saw many of the historical landmarks of New York. My sane wife keeps searching through his belongings for a marriage license.
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The Collected Works of Ducrot Pepys
History of West Point
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Page updated: 16 Aug 12