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Bill Thayer

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October 10

This webpage reproduces a section of
The Collected Works
of Ducrot Pepys

Ronan C. Grady

Newburgh, N. Y., 1943

The text is in the public domain.

This page has been carefully proofread
and I believe it to be free of errors.
If you find a mistake though,
please let me know!


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November 7
This site is not affiliated with the US Military Academy.

 p31  October 24, 1941 . . . .

Monday. The gym course must be the same as ever. I saw my second one‑armed plebe today. We live directly opposite that house of horrors and at times the cracking of whips, rending of bones, and sounds of general torment are most disturbing. One winces as if an old wound pained one. This morning an especially violent wince sprained my ankle. My other wife has been doing a little better in Philosophy due mainly to his applying a ouija board technique to his slide rule. My sane wife has chosen the wiser course I believe and ignores his slide rule except when polishing the metal in it.

Tuesday. It appears that this winter after the termination of intramural athletics we will occupy our time with military calisthenics. If calisthenics means what I think it means I am going to slash my wrists. That is, I would if there were any way of inducing my five corpuscles to bleed but they are wary little devils and seldom come near the surface except when hungry. My other wife received a letter from home today. He is very happy because his older brother has finally learned how to walk. It seems that his brother is handicapped by having three legs and no feet.

[image ALT: A drawing of a young man in long trousers, in a squatting position, holding a rifle in both arms, parallel to the ground. He is straining horribly. In the background, a huge behemoth of a man in T‑shirt and shorts, wielding a cat-o'‑nine-tails. It is a cartoon of a West Point cadet performing military calisthenics.]

"If calisthenics means what I think it means I am going to slash my wrists."

Wednesday. My other wife as usual screamed back at the bell last night and it rang for fifteen minutes. Now it takes two men pushing and one pulling to get him past it but he has been broken of one bad habit. Attended a laboratory period in Philosophy today and completely disproved the theory of gravitation. However, I will wager that no one nominates me for the Nobel prize. The stools have at last been grudgingly set up by the Drawing Department. My other wife so pleased with his that they did not have to chain him to his drawing table as usual.

Thursday. The register came out today. There is a footnote attached to my other wife's name that simply says "Ugh". He is much wounded in his feelings and has done little but utter scream after scream of wounded vanity since he saw it. My sane wife has taken his ranking very much to heart and has been very sullen all day. At this moment he is filled to the eye‑teeth with Wilson cleaner and is very dangerous not only because Wilson cleaner always makes him quarrelsome but because he is the only fire hazard I ever saw that could move around hunting for sparks. I, luckily, can forgive and forget.

Friday. The cold weather has engendered my other wife's first letter to Santa Claus. We have done our best to preserve his illusions and in some respects have succeeded, but in others we have failed. The first item on his list of requests was Veronica Lake. This does not reflect the viewpoint we have tried to instill in him.

Saturday. I thoroughly enjoyed today. I do not understand it although the fact that I am running a fever of 105 may have something to do with it.

Sunday. My other wife bought civilian clothes today. I fear he overdid himself a little. Anyone who buys overcoats to match his socks is just being extravagant.

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Page updated: 16 Aug 12